I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
