he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
