She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Randomize
