Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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