I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
