if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
