she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
