I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I need water and some morals
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
