Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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