If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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