Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
