I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
