im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
