Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
