your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
