I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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