You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
