You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
