I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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