what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
