I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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