im six kinds of drunk right now
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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