i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
