i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I understand Curling. That high.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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