I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
