your thong is hanging out like whoa
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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