Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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