Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
