So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
