We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize