But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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