I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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