piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
