its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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