I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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