Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
lets start a swedish sibling band together
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
