I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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