I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
