If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
