I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
