I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize