I'm sorry my penis didn't work
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
