I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Randomize