I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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