I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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