mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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