I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
