hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
