Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He did a backflip because drugs
why is half of my head shaved?
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