Betty ford says i'm here all night
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
