New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
