i think i have herpe
just one?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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