what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
