Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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