i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
