hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
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Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
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I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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