Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
well most of my day revolves around power hour
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You're breaking my sexual little heart
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
