dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
