I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
