does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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