no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
