She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
