Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
